Limited Expectations

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Patria
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Limited Expectations
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Limited expectations yield only limited results.
--Susan Laurson Willig

Schoolchildren perform according to the expectations their teachers have of them. Likewise, what we achieve depends greatly on what we believe about ourselves, and too many of us have too little belief in ourselves. Perhaps we grew up in a negative household or had a non-supportive marriage. But we contributed, too, in our negative self-assessment. The good news is that it no longer needs to control us.

We can boost our own performance by lifting our own expectations, even in the absence of support from others. It may not be easy, but each of us is capable of changing a negative self-image to a positive one. It takes commitment to the program, a serious relationship with our higher power, and the development of positive, healthy relationships with others.

It's true; we can't control other people in our lives. And we can't absolutely control the outcome of any particular situation. But we can control our own attitudes. Interestingly, when we've begun tagging ourselves competent and capable, instead of inadequate, we find that other people and other situations become more to our liking, too.

I will be fair with myself. I can do what I need to do wherever I am today. Only I can hold myself down.

Marceline
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So true.  At the same time,

So true. At the same time, I think overly high expectations are equally harmful.. That is what I grew up with - trying to meet extreme standards in order to please everyone (though they still never really seemed pleased), and never feeling good enough for anyone.. not my parents, not my friends, not even my HP. I actually gave up religion as a teen just because I couldn't bear the thought of one more person/HP being disappointed in me, because I couldn't be perfect. I can definitely see how and where addiction came in to play in my life as a coping mechanism, due to this..

"A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears." ~Michel de Montaigne

Patria
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I agree Marceline. I had the

I agree Marceline. I had the same upbringing. Nothing was ever good enough, no matter how hard I tried to be "perfect" for others.

And that's kind of what the problem is. I didn't have my own expectations, I was trying to follow other's ideas of what I should be or ought to do.

Now that I'm distancing and detaching myself from other's expectations, I'm slowly building my own. And that's where I can have minimal goals. I'd already learned how I was a "failure" for others, and because of that I didn't have any expectations of my own.

I'm still trying to figure out who I am.

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