Mistakes

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Patria
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Mistakes

"A life without mistakes is lived without joy."

"We fear mistakes more than anything else. Mistakes bring on ridicule. Mistakes expose the unsure, frail and diffident woman hiding within.

"Can anyone brag of living a 'mistake free' life? Perhaps if they were to spend their days on an armchair by the fireside. A life doing this is half lived, wasted and incomplete.

"Fear of making mistakes holds you back from doing many things. Ultimately too many joys go undiscovered. Regrets smother you and you become even more fearful. It's a vicious cycle.

"Remember that nobody sits above you. Others may know more, but they have also walked the same path before you. To get to where they are standing, you may have to make a mistake or two. So what, why not feel the joy you deserve and go for it?"

Jane Powell - Meditations for Women

Today's Affirmation: I have released my fear of making mistakes.

Patria
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I hate making mistakes. Hate

I hate making mistakes. Hate them.

When I was taking violin lessons (about 20 years ago) I would stop every time I made a mistake and would try to start over. My violin teacher went ballistic. NOOOO! don't stop, keep on going. If you keep stopping at a mistake to start over, what you learn is the mistake and the pause...

She was right. Our brains love repetition. At a certain point in learning it's focused on repitition; the brain isn't judging whether it is "right" or not, it just learns the action. So if I am stopping constantly, the brain learns that.

So I took her advice and stopped doing the "stopping" and consequently, never remembered the initial mistake.

I think I'm getting better at the my reactions to mistakes. It's still hard for me; I still cringe, but keep on going with whatever I'm doing (mentally vowing not to do that again).

Kim
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I'm always so hard on myself

I'm always so hard on myself for making mistakes. I wish I could have as much forgiveness for my own mistakes as I do for others.

Game free since February 4 2013

Patria
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Very true Kim. I was told in

Very true Kim. I was told in AA that forgiving ourselves is the first step in forgiving others. And forgiving others is a first step in forgiving ourselves.

I think, for me, that learning to forgive myself, is actively being in recovery so that I can repair the damage I created in the past. I am still coping with the knowledge that I gamed addictively for 8 years when my husband and I could have traveled, kayaked, and had a lot of fun, and by the time I got sober he was too sick to do anything. I regret that so much.

I can't go back in the past and repair it. If only I could, I'd give anything to. But it isn't possible. All I can do is reflect on the two years I had with him that I showed him as much love as it was possible to show. And now that he is gone, I have to keep on recovering so I can help others repair themselves.

Every time I do something that is in recovery, is another wound repaired from the past.

dan1
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Kim wrote: I'm always so
Kim wrote:

I'm always so hard on myself for making mistakes. I wish I could have as much forgiveness for my own mistakes as I do for others.

Yup. I was relentlessly criticized as a child. I hate making mistakes. Because it always meant I would be put down, diminished, shamed.

But reading this relflection made me think "so what's the big deal about making a mistake? Sure, mistakes have consequences, but if I didn't make it, someone else would. So why shouldn't I live and learn?"

It was a funny thought. Never had a thought like that before. Never. I think that might be a tiny bit of progress.

I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.

Kim
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dan1 wrote: It was a funny
dan1 wrote:

It was a funny thought. Never had a thought like that before. Never. I think that might be a tiny bit of progress.

Good for you Dan :)

Game free since February 4 2013

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