From one of my daily readers, adapted for OLGA:
"My life has changed... Now as I awaken, I listen for the birds. I choose not to review my plans for the day until I've had my breakfast. I prefer to take time to appreciate my favorite time of the day. [The program] is helping me to clear my mind of my burdens so that I am able to enjoy the wonder of the moment. I am beginning to enjoy a childlike awe about the splendor of nature, to seethe beauty all around me, to let my face break into a smile spontaneously, to laugh, to love, to live again."
I know in my heart that I am better off being game-free now. I know my spiritual awakening was a gentle, slow, organic process... which for me was rediscovering my faith in my concept of a Power greater than myself. There are many, but I needed one that worked for me. I know I have an addiction to games, and now I am grateful for it. It has renewed my program, and introduced me to You, other OLGA members. I know I can never play the game I was addicted to again. That feels ok, right now, it did not feel like that at first - not by a long shot. ...but now, I am much more at peace. I am happy being me, most of the time. I laugh a lot, too. I came across the thought that if I want to show my HP my gratitude for being game-free and my recovery - if I really want to show my HP my gratitude then I need to enjoy my life Today and laugh out and often. ...but, I do remember, when I was in that deep dark hole and I wanted to escape from my feelings and game... I remember that laughter was painful - I remember hearing children laugh, couples laugh, etc, and feeling pain. I was envious, had self-pity and did not have a program then. Now, even when I am sad, I can still enjoy others' laughter - I am happy for them. ...I never thought I would feel that. I was very self-centered - but thought I was the opposite. I am so happy for my program, my recovery, and the 12 steps - they are an amazing set of tools.
The following is an expression of my recovery, but I know deep down that the chances of this happening, or my wanting for it to happen, would be close to none if I was not game-free for today; because, when I was still in the grip of my game-addiction, I would be "clocking the clock" to make sure that I was out of work in a shot so I could get home and turn my PCs on to get on with my gaming. I had very little room in my head for anything or anyone else because the game was my life; whereas my work, my partner and my friends and family were more like my hobby back then. Life is better now.
This evening, on my way back from work, I stopped to collect a branch from a flowering bush. I stopped at the roadside. I walked back to the bush a hundred yards or so, and a horse in a field came up to me in the dark. I stood quietly for a while and had a silent chat with it. I then got my branch and breathed in the night's air and the scent of the tiny white flowers. I felt tired, but it felt ok to be tired because I also felt renewed by stopping, just to be me and do the things I really enjoy. I am grateful for those five or ten minutes of my day this evening, because I felt at peace, happy to be me.
Tonight I am grateful to OLGA and my HP for the many tiny changes in me that have happened over time which slowly restore my sanity, one day at a time.