OLGA Reflections for July 20th
Wisdom from the chatroom
DENIAL= Don't Even Notice I Am Lying
Reflection. We were gamers, like lots of people. But unlike lots of people, our games took over. Our addiction became the first thing, then the only thing in our lives.
We knew there was something wrong with this. But we didn't want to know. So we lied: To ourselves, our friends, our parents, our children, our co-workers. We put on a facade, pretended to be "normal" around other people. But secretly we were terrified that someone would find out. Because we are ashamed. Even though we don't want to know, and we don't want anyone else to know, that something is terribly wrong.
We tell ourselves it's OK. We tell ourselves that we will be successful in school, we promise that work will get done. We say we will clean the house, play with the kids, spend time with our partner. Then comes failure. More shame and fear. And more gaming.
When we came to OLGA we met other gaming addicts and listened to their stories. We realized that we were addicted and came to finally admit it. But we also realized that we are not alone. When we work our program of recovery, when we take actions to do what is right, then we don't need to lie and hide anymore. What a relief!
But even in recovery, we still have the mind of an addict. So we still need to watch out for denial. Sometimes we deny our anger, our fear, other emotions. Or we deny that our addiction was "that bad." These denials will lead us back to gaming. Instead, we must admit what is happening, and use what we have learned in our program to deal with it. Whether it's exercise, prayer and meditation, calling a friend or coming to a meeting, we need to level up in Real Life.
Denying reality is simply no longer an option for us.
Questions: What kinds of ways have I been in denial in the past? When kinds of denial are still a problem for me?
Action: Tell the truth to someone about something you have not told them yet.
Prayer: Higher Power, help me to see the truth and feel my real feelings today. Give me the peace to know that with your help, I can face whatever comes to me.
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.