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OLGA Reflections for July 22nd
Wisdom from the chatroom
OBSTACLES: What is getting in the way of my recovery today?
Reflection. If we feel we are not making as much progress as we should in recovery, we may want to ask, "What is standing in the way?". Often, the things we find are things that are inside us. Certainly external circumstances can be difficult, and for a while we face many difficulties that accumulated as a result of our gaming. But the more difficult things are in us: bad habits of thought and action, and our character defects. For example, when we game, we often isolate ourselves from others--friends, co-workers, family. We become hermits, fearful of contact with other people, especially face-to-face contact. Just because we have quit gaming does not mean that these tendencies toward isolation go away. They might still be holding us back.
Another bad habit is inaction. When we were gaming, we neglected our responsibilities. We got in the habit of not doing what we were supposed to do, what we needed to do, even what we ourselves wanted to do! These habits of inaction do not disappear easily either. Sometimes we need the help of a sponsor so we can think through our situation rationally and decide what we can and cannot do, since we are not used to deciding these things for ourselves.
A third thing that can get in the way is the selfishness of our addict brains. Addiction takes over and becomes more important than anything else to us. We are used to only focusing on ourselves, our own feelings: whatever pain we want to numb out by gaming, whatever difficulties we want to avoid, whatever pleasure we will get out of it.
What do we need to do to move forward? First, we must be easy on ourselves. These old habits won't change immediately. We need to remember to take things one step at a time. Each day is a new day, and you can start your day again at any time.
Then we need to do the things that support recovery: Talking to our sponsor and other members of the fellowship, working the steps and trusting in our higher power. As we do these things our new self, our true self, emerges. We learn to do better and we trust more. We find it easier and easier to believe that we will know what to do and be able to do it, as we live each day.
Question: What habits of thought and action still stand in the way of my recovery?
Action: Talk to another member of the fellowship today, and tell them the answer to the question above.
Prayer: Higher Power, help me to trust that my recovery is moving forward as I take action each day. Give me the power to change the old habits. Give me the courage to change one thing today.
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.