Wisdom of Recovery
Our Best Lives Now
As game addicts we lost all sight of our best life. Hopes and dreams receded further and further into the background along with all the rest of real life as we sank deeper and deeper into the anesthetizing world of fantasy. Real dreams were exchanged for a hypnotic numbness found in make-believe worlds that gave us the illusion of control, a semblance of mastery or at least a feeling of manageability while our lives careened into chaos due to neglect.
Maybe the loss of a cherished dream had propelled us into hiding. We'd licked wounds that would not heal, until as a last resort we began looking for distractions from the pain, and we found a "safe" pain-killer. Unlike alcohol or drugs, games were innocent fun piped directly into our homes via binary code and without any warning labels other than something about photosensitive seizures. Down the rabbit hole we gladly went.
In time, like all pain-killers with over use, the games lost their potency. We grew more and more bored and restless and searched the internet for other distractions - new games or porn or Facebook or message boards - something, anything that might recreate our first highs, that might allow us escape from the mess of our reality. Most often it is when we can no longer find any comfort in the games that we begin to consider giving them up and somehow returning to the shambles that are our real lives. What courage is required for that! If we're fortunate, we find enough courage to begin, and we find others like ourselves who desperately want to recover.
Initially, any notions of hopes and dreams are fragile and tentative at best as we begin, one step at a time, one day at a time to face reality. We start by hoping to make it through withdrawals, and when we've found that we have gotten past those, our strength and courage are bolstered. As we continue to work our program and find peace and freedom we hadn't known before, we find that a new vision of a good life gradually begins to formulate itself. We find we have new dreams - dreams sprung from a fresh fountain of hard-won life, dreams that often come together in very different forms from any dreams we may have harbored prior to our addiction. These aspirations are born of our experience - all of it, and we find we want to be part of making life better for others as well as for ourselves.
Question: Am I willing to let go of old dreams in order for new dreams to come?
Action: Today I will participate in life with open-hearted curiosity and begin to trust more and more that a good future awaits me. Write down three things you would like to see in that future.
Prayer: Higher Power, I surrender my hopes and dreams, believing that there are much greater plans in store for me than I could ever come up with on my own.
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.