Another sad story Game of War & Divorce

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cant believe this
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Another sad story Game of War & Divorce

I'm new here, but have been reading all the posts and can't believe how many lives gaming can destroy. I am here to try to get some help for my husband, or ex-husband as yesterday he told me he wants a divorce! 10 years of marriage, a 7yo son and me being 30 weeks pregnant does not seem to interest him anymore.

We have been in bliss for nearly 15 years then about 4 months ago it all started, I should never have nagged him to quit smoking because that addiction just changed to an addiction to gaming on his phone. He laughed it off at first and said he just needed something to do with his hands and to get his mind off smoking so I was cool with it. But it turns out that this is much more of a health hazzard. It has become so bad that he only gets afew hours sleep at night, he has dropped 2 pant sizes because he hardly eats and he seems to have lost interest in all things he once loved (including me).

His game of choice is Game of War - he has gone from forgetting where he left his phone to it never leaving him, even when he goes to the toilet. He is constantly playing this game, even on Christmas day when we were surrounded by family, some of whom we havent seen for a year, he couldn't stay off the game. He has also met another person through this game who he says he enjoys talking to. This other woman and he have started "sexting" I guess it would be and she has told him of her love for him! I think this all to be one of the catfishing schemes or similiar but he does not believe so and simply enjoys her company more than mine, never mind she is in another country!

So as upsetting as this is to me that he now wants a divorce I would like to try and help him as he is still the father of my son and unborn child. I asked him to quit the game and go back to smoking but now he just does both! I have been reading worse case scenarios like suicide etc. and do not want him to go down this road. It is has affected his life so dramatically, even though he cant see it, so please any thoughts on how to get him back to reality.

Andrew_Doan
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I am glad you found OLGA.

I am glad you found OLGA. Your situation is becoming more prevalent.

Does your husband want help and does he recognize he has a problem?

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

Polga
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Welcome We learn that we

Welcome

We learn that we cannot control the gamers choices.

You can show support by:

...being truthful about your concern and if he needs support to quit you are there for him, but just don't expect him to listen. Then just let him get on with it without nagging him ... it just turns them off when we complain.

...by detaching from his behaviour and being awesome without him you will be setting the best example

...show him the OLGA side of this website.

Sorry for your pain. Hugsxx

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Shelly0653
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Game of war hell!

Hello, I only have a few mins to post but after stumbling upon this blog I felt compelled to join...Here's my story (the short of it)... After 23 years of marriage and 2 beautiful daughters we are still going strong, that was until 3 days ago when I came across an app in my husbands phone title LINE! I open it and OMG, I was shocked and heartbroken at what I discovered! There were several group chats he was involved in, but then there were 4 that were of just him and one other person! Of course all 4 of them were women. The messages they had sending each other sent daggers through my heart. Messages that had been going on for six months.  And although I chose not to read every one in detail because once you read or see something you cannot unread or unsee it,  I did scroll up and read a few here and there. What started out as innocent game of war alliance building quickly evolved into personal one on one chats which ultimately led into Sexting.  And for those of you who don't know what Sexting is, it's nothing more than typing phone sex.  And this was more than just sexting  for six months, this was a full evolved online affair that involved emotions and the sharing of each other's daily lives and family situations.  The first thing he wanted to make sure I understood after finding out was that none of them lived in our state and one wasn't even in the same country but this  didn't ease the pain I was feeling and still am feeling! Although there was obviously something amiss in our marriage that I was blind to, I fully blame  Game of war. And after reading a lot of other people's  situations I see I'm not the only one.  Now here's where it gets interesting… After being confronted he immediately opens up about all of it and tells me that he is sorry and it just got out of control but that  none of those girls really meant anything to him in the real world. I'm still trying to process what that means! He then, on his own, not only deletes but deactivates his game of war and line accounts.  And although this doesn't undo it or make it any less painful, it is a sign along with his verbalizing that he wants to get us back to where we were prior to this.  He said he was relieved and felt like he could breathe again and hated how these relationships if you will had started to consume him. Now here's my thoughts… After  Sharing all of the things that they shared for as long as they did can you really be done with all of that just by hitting the delete or deactivate button?? It's not the game I'm worried about him missing (he wasn't really playing it as much as he used to) it's the attention and feelings he developed for these 4 women.  I'm worried that with all of the apps out there made available to us via social media which are created and designed for the very purpose of online  affairs and keeping it hidden that he will just find another one and start over with someone else. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I welcome any and all advice!

Sincerly,

Wife Devostated 

Polga
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Welcome Shelly

Welcome Shelly

What you fear is a possibility. But maybe he has had a huge wake up call and the intense shame of it all and realising how stupid he has been will carry him through. He may have a gaming habit that will be calling him back. there is a thread about withdrawal symptoms somewhere ...so you may experience some of those with him.

I would just see how it goes, but if there is a trust issue, consider going to couples counselling. Time will tell how this plays out. There are many similar stories here. You are not alone.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Shelly0653
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Thank you!

Thank you for your words of advice! I truly hope that this is the end of the story and he and I will have a happy outcome. Only time will tell! 

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