Hello everyone. I honestly can't believe I'm here. I'm not really sure where to start but here goes. My wife is addicted to playing Clash of Clans.
She has been playing now 2yrs and it has gotten much worse. Her phone never leaves her side. Let me begin by saying that I am a stay home father/IT professional that works from home (20hrs) a week while she is a pharmacist that works 38hrs a week. Two and a half years ago, we had two beautiful boys, twins even! We had to go through invetro fertilization. Which failed 3 times before we had a successful session. We both decided to wait until we were older in order to better appreciate our twin joy bundles.
So to fast forward to today, all she does is play that dang game! I play games on the xbox 360 maybe 3hrs a week, but she is on her game almost 24-7 unless she is at work. She totally neglects the twins and myself. She is now seeing attention from people on the game through outside chat apps (kik) and I have found her taking head shot pictures of herself in the closet. When I approached her about it she said, it is innocent. Really? Head shots of yourself in the closet? Innocent, right!
So here I am. I have twins that are in love with there father, twins that need mother, and a mother that doesn't seem to understand her importance of being a mom to her boys and a wife to her husband. I have found myself getting more and more frustrated at myself and the situation. I have read your help volum which was very helpful for me this morning, thank you.
With each day, I am finding it harder and harder to deal with focusing on work, and more importantly my boys. I have come from a divorced family but I understand the importance of having both a mother and a father in the household. I just want to continue to provide my boys the mental attention they truly need and deserve.
Again, your link to helping to cope with these maters have been great, but I do find myself trying to cook, clean, and just do what needs to be done around the house because she won't do it. I sure to many, this may sound strange coming from a man, but I have a masters degree which Allows me to run my business and watchy kids because my wife can't seem to get her head around it so, I don't know... I just can't believe this is honestly happening after all the work we put in with having our kids...
Thank you for listening and for the help articles. I wish they made "make you stronger" vitamin in a pill form!
How to cope?
I agree with you. There is nothing innocent about sending pictures and messages to other people gamers play with. This usually leads to more. Have you considered professional help? Marriage therapy?
Andrew P. Doan, MPH, MD, PhD
My Gaming Addiction Videos on YouTube: YouTube.com/@DrAndrewDoan
*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy, DHA or Department of Defense.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. If you search on my posts you will find my situation has much in common with yours. My wife's game of choice is also Clash of Clans, and it has turned her into a completely different person. I'm very glad I found this site, and I've been astonished as I've read the stories of other spouses, thinking I could have written so many of them myself. You are right to be concerned about the head shots. There is nothing innocent about it. My wife progressed from chatting to flirting to cyber sex to talk about breaking up our family and leaving our marriage to go be with someone she met in the game (who is also married and has kids). As far as I can tell what they have in common is they both like to play Clash of Clans at all hours of the day and night. It is horrible to watch up close, seeing your spouse get completely reprogrammed, have her personality completely change and have her step to the precipice of throwing away everything, all because of a game. The best advice I have seen is to detach as best you can, focus on yourself and your kids, and expect nothing. It is a long and lonely road. But there are a lot of people here going through exactly what you are going through and who understand. I feel your pain.
My husband is obsessed with Clash of Clans as well. I didn't even think about online chat rooms in the game or pictures or anything. Wow I'm so sorry. For now, just keep taking care of yourself and the kids as best as you can. Maybe get a friend to volunteer to watch them once and a while so you can do something fun just for yourself. You deserve it! I really hope your wife comes around and realizes what a wonderful family she's missing out on!